Glory Days
By Anders Drejer
You can’t start a fire
You can’t start a fire without a spark
This gun’s for hire
Even if we’re just dancin’ in the dark(Bruce Springsteen)
If I was the Priest
It is no secret that I love the lyrics and songs of Bruce Springsteen, so here we go again.
Having led what can only be described as a hard life, the songs of a man with a father that may or may not have been diagnosed with something like Borderline or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, resonates with a man who has lived a life in the frontline. My late wife was diagnosed with Borderline, PTSD and “15% other”. But not suicidal — the latter proving to be wrong. As it was.
One of Springsteen’s classic songs is entitled ”Fade away”. His comment to that song is this:.Have you ever felt a love that you’ve had slipping away? Through a couple of years, I felt my Sarah fading away and was unable to be strong enough to keep her in this world. My weakness as it turned out. I found the official papers during moving home recently. Needless to say, my trust in psychology as a real science is very small
To quote another song-writher, one Mick Jagger, where is the mercy?
Your own Worst Enemy
Springsteen, like my grandfathers, was raised a part of the working-class. In modern day Denmark that phenomenon is all but extinct. Sure, there are poor people even in Denmark but that is relative. Most people in the world have it worse.
Story in point: For a number years, I was the Head of Studies for an MBA programme in Denmark. Part of the programme was a Summer School, where we travelled to and visited South Africa (and the University of Stellenbosch, where — among other things — the first heart transplant was conducted. Successfully). Our hosts always went out of the way to make us feel welcome and to teach us everything. I went every year as official representative (and chaperone — as our case company for the week routinely was a wine producer …). One particular year, the most arrogant bunch of all my years in teaching was in South Africa. I gladly include myself in that bunch, some of them are my personal friends to this day — 10 years down the road. So, we had a blast!
However, one day we were invited to visit one of the townships of Cape Town. We got a lecture of one of the most influential activists on the treatment of AIDS/HIV, a small woman who kept coughing in her handkerchief. She told us that out of the 1.000.000 very poor people, 60% had the virus. And emphasized that this was not just the adults, no — 600.000 had the virus! When I asked how this was possible, her laconic response was as follows: there is a myth among African men that if you get AIDS, you can be cured by having sex with a virgin …. And what do you do in a country were girls start having sex as early as 12-year olds? You rape a child. So, if you do not get the virus from your mother (at birth), you get it from your father. Standing in her nice little house, I distinctively remember the feeling of arrogance and superiority ooze of us all and of the room …
It is understandable that some men, like Springsteen’s father, despair under such harsh conditions.
Better Days?
In some of the poorest parts of the world, I have seen much despair. Strangely, even if you are dirt poor there is always money for alcohol or other kinds of drugs. To numb you from the feeling of hopelessness would be my guess. When I am tempted to be a little sad, I remind myself that I am one of the 1% most privileged people on this planet. In all of its history. It is always a sobering thought.
Also, I have seen — and through my voluntary work worked with — a lot of formidable women that work like lionesses to create a better future for their families. There is hope!
Sad epilogue though. The two formidable women on the MBA team of that year were both trained nurses towards top management positions. They stood next to me in the dingy house that day with the coughing AIDS activist and I could not help but overhear them whispering “… she is coughing up blood, that’s TB — she has it herself …”. She is no longer with us.
My wonderful MBA team of that year immediately created a foundation to help female entrepreneurs of Cape Town and it has been functioning since.